Anticipate Friends Reacting Poorly to Your Divorce

 Posted on November 14, 2017 in Divorce

Divorce is an emotionally trying time during which you will turn to friends and family for support. However, some friends may surprise you with their reaction to your divorce. If you are looking for an affirmation of your decisions, you risk being disappointed and hurt when a friend makes a critical or insensitive comment. To harden yourself against this, you should understand that:

• People have varying beliefs about divorce;
• Some people choose poor words when trying to express support; and
• Other people’s opinions should not weaken your resolve in regards to your divorce.

There are various reasons why your friends or family may react negatively to your divorce. Each reason requires a different response:

1. Personal Beliefs: The concept of divorce is unacceptable to some people, regardless of your reasons. Religion often dictates this belief, though for others it is a personal conviction. You are not going to change this person’s mind, so you should agree to disagree and drop the subject. If this person continues to criticize your decision, you should distance yourself from him or her.
2. Loyalty: It is difficult for mutual friends of spouses to support both sides during a divorce. Whether you intend to or not, you are asking your friend to accept your opinions on the divorce. Many friends choose a side during the divorce, and some of them will opt for your spouse. You may feel abandoned or hurt, but you should respect their decisions. Understand that they may still like you and consider you a friend. However, their loyalty to your spouse is more important to them.
3. Awkwardness: Some friends want to be supportive but do a poor job of expressing it. Their choice of words may seem insensitive or hurtful. Their questions about your divorce may sound like criticism. You should step back and try to determine your friend’s intentions. If your friend has just learned about your divorce, he or she has not had time to think of a response. If the news is a surprise, your friend’s questions may be out of curiosity. You should give these friends a pass on their initial reactions. If their insensitive behavior continues, you can calmly tell them that you are not comfortable with their questions and comments.

Personal Decision

When you have chosen to get a divorce, you should trust your judgment. None of your friends and family know the full circumstances that led to your decision. A DuPage County divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, PC, will support you through your divorce process. Schedule a consultation by calling 630-393-3111.

Source:

http://www.divorcemag.com/blog/brushing-off-negative-reactions-to-divorce