Can Intrusive In-Laws Impact My Custody and Parenting Plan?

 Posted on August 22, 2024 in Child Custody / Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

Many couples have found that behaviors by in-laws they might have considered a bit quirky before the marriage can quickly become intrusive. Unfortunately, there is no rule book for how to handle your in-laws after marriage, and while in-law troubles may not cause divorce, they can certainly be a contributing factor. The trouble may not be that a spouse’s in-laws behave badly but that the spouse resents the fact that a husband or wife is not giving first loyalty to the marriage during these squabbles.

Communication difficulties, poor conflict resolution, and a partner’s lack of respect all made it into the top 10 reasons for divorce. By extension, a partner who refuses to address the problem of intrusive in-laws and does not respect his or her spouse’s feelings on the matter makes intrusive in-laws a probable factor in divorce. But what if intrusive in-law problems follow you after the divorce, impacting the allocation of parental responsibilities and peaceful co-parenting?  

If meddling in-laws are an issue in your divorce and you believe they will be an issue in child custody decisions, make sure you thoroughly discuss the matter with your Naperville, IL child custody lawyer from Calabrese Associates, P.C.. Our firm provides caring, personalized legal services for those dealing with difficult family challenges.

How Could In-Law Conflict Impact the Allocation of Parental Responsibilities?

Every spouse brings his or her own family background, expectations, and traditions into the marriage, including the relationship with his or her own parents and other extended family members. Although some in-laws are a never-ending source of support, others may cause tension and arguments by interfering in child-rearing. Perhaps a mother-in-law constantly drops by uninvited, criticizing her daughter-in-law about every aspect of her parenting choices.

A mother-in-law like this is not likely to let a little thing like a divorce stop her behavior. Maybe the parents could have worked out a mutually agreeable parenting plan without a meddling in-law pushing his or her own agenda. Grandparents are important in children’s lives, but custody is an issue that should remain strictly between the parents. Illinois statutes and your attorney can be consulted regarding the allocation of parental responsibilities.

What Rules Can You Stipulate in a Parenting Plan to Deal with Intrusive In-laws?

Remember that a parenting plan is determined by the parents, not the grandparents. If the parents agree, they are free to exclude specific family members from the lives of the children. While this would certainly be a last resort for grandparents, parents do have this right. If the divorce was caused in part by one spouse refusing to set boundaries for his or her family members, it is unlikely that the spouse would now agree to limit access to the children.

The only way one parent could potentially limit access by grandparents is if the grandparents are clearly involved in parental alienation. If the grandparent or another in-law chronically bad-mouths the child’s other parent, that parent may have grounds to file a petition to limit the child’s interactions with them.

If one parent constantly leaves the child with the grandparents during his or her parenting time, the other parent may ask for the right of first refusal. This means the parent asking for the right of first refusal is given the option to keep the child before the other parent leaves the child with the grandparents for long stretches of time.

Contact a DuPage County, IL Child Custody Attorney

If your in-laws are making your parenting arrangements with your ex much more difficult than they need to be, it may be time to consider consulting a Naperville, IL child custody lawyer from Calabrese Associates, P.C.. Any issues that deal with children can be difficult to solve without creating more hard feelings, so make sure the issue is worth the fight. Contact a knowledgeable child custody lawyer from Calabrese Associates, P.C. at 630-393-3111 to schedule an appointment.