Do I Have to Go to Mediation in My Illinois Divorce? 

 Posted on December 12, 2024 in Divorce

Divorce mediation is often promoted as a cheaper and more peaceful option compared to traditional litigation. While mediation can help couples reach agreements on issues like child custody, property division, and spousal support, it is not the right solution for every situation. 

In some cases, mediation can even make existing conflicts worse or put one party at a disadvantage. Below are some reasons why divorce mediation may not be appropriate and how an Illinois divorce attorney can help you navigate the process.

Situations Where Mediation May Not Work

History of Domestic Violence or Abuse

Mediation relies on both parties feeling safe and empowered to express their needs and negotiate fairly. However, in cases involving a history of domestic violence or abuse, the power dynamics are often imbalanced. For example, imagine a woman who suffered years of verbal and physical abuse during her marriage. In mediation, she may feel too intimidated to stand up for her rights, especially if her abuser attempts to manipulate or pressure her into unfavorable agreements.

In such cases, mediation is inappropriate because it cannot provide the necessary protections or neutralize the fear that can affect decision-making.

Significant Imbalance of Power or Knowledge

When one spouse has significantly more financial knowledge or control, mediation may not lead to fair outcomes. For instance, consider a situation where one spouse owns a business and has concealed assets or misrepresented the couple’s financial situation. If the other spouse is unaware of the true value of the marital estate, that spouse may unknowingly agree to an inequitable settlement during mediation.

In these circumstances, traditional litigation with court oversight and the opportunity to conduct thorough financial discovery is often a better choice.

No Willingness to Compromise

Mediation requires both parties to be willing to negotiate in good faith. If one spouse refuses to budge or insists on unreasonable demands, mediation will likely fail. For example, a divorcing father may refuse to agree to any custody arrangement that gives the mother more than minimal parenting time, despite her active and positive role in their children’s lives. In such a situation, mediation may waste time and resources, as one party’s rigid stance makes compromise impossible.

Avoiding Court-Ordered Mediation

In Illinois, courts often require couples to attempt mediation before proceeding with litigation, especially in cases involving child custody or visitation. However, an experienced family law attorney can help you avoid court-ordered mediation if it is not right for your situation.

Attorneys can argue against mediation by presenting evidence that shows why it would be unproductive or harmful. For instance:

• Showing a history of domestic violence or abuse.

• Highlighting financial discrepancies or lack of transparency that make fair negotiation impossible.

• Proving one party’s unwillingness to engage in good faith.

By preparing a compelling case, your attorney can advocate for alternative dispute resolution methods or court intervention tailored to your unique circumstances.

Contact a Naperville, IL Family Law Attorney

If you believe divorce mediation is not suitable for your situation, a skilled DuPage County, IL divorce lawyer at Calabrese Associates, P.C. can help you explore other options and protect your rights. Contact Calabrese Associates, P.C. at 630-393-3111 to discuss your case and develop a legal strategy that works for you.