Keys to Having an Amicable Divorce Process

 Posted on May 03,2018 in Divorce

An amicable divorce process has more to do with your state of mind than with the circumstances of your divorce. You can always find something to argue over if you are bitter towards your spouse. Conversely, you can settle contentious issues when you look at them from a logical standpoint instead of an emotional one. A high-conflict divorce may feel immediately satisfying because you are letting out your resentment towards your spouse. However, an amicable divorce has better outcomes and often results in less emotional damage.

Setting the Tone

Amicable divorce starts with how you handle your initial conversation with your spouse. If you are the one asking for a divorce, you have greater control over the tone of the discussion. You can start on the path towards amicable divorce by:

• Considering the time and place you are asking for a divorce;
• Not blaming anyone for the divorce;
• Understanding that your spouse may be shocked by the news; and
• Not responding to provocations that will lead to arguments.

If your spouse is the first person to ask for a divorce, it will be more difficult for you to set a calm tone because you are not emotionally prepared for the conversation. Try your best to remain calm and refrain from lashing out at your spouse.

Mature Negotiations

There are issues about which you will disagree when discussing your divorce settlement. An amicable divorce is when you can rationally discuss your differences without it devolving into a petty argument. There are several questions you can ask yourself if you are unsure whether you are behaving maturely during your negotiations:

• Are my decisions motivated by helping myself or hurting my spouse?;
• Is what I am asking for fair?;
• Is what my spouse is asking for unfair?;
• How important to me is the issue I am arguing about?; and
• Are my parenting demands in my children’s best interest?

Trying to hurt or cheat your spouse in your divorce agreement will not help you. Either your spouse will refuse your terms or the divorce court will reject the unfair terms during the review. You can save time by understanding that both sides are supposed to be treated fairly in the settlement. Agree on what issues you can and come up with solutions to other issues that you both can accept.

Amicable Divorce 

You need a calm and learned voice to guide you through the divorce process. A DuPage County divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, P.C., can help you with your amicable divorce. To schedule a consultation, call 630-393-3111.

Source:

http://www.divorcemag.com/blog/tips-that-will-change-the-course-of-your-divorce-for-the-better