Raising Children After Divorce: Four Key Efforts Every Parent Can Make to Help Ease the Adjustment

 Posted on March 17,2017 in Divorce

The adjustment period for those going through a divorce can vary in emotional intensity and overall impact from person to person and from family to family. Children, in particular, are susceptible to high levels of stress and emotional turmoil, especially when the situation is not properly explained to them or communicated in a way that helps them understand the reason for the family separation.

Tips on Helping Your Children

If you are recently divorced and wish to provide your children with the ample support they need to grow up happy and healthy, making the following efforts can pay off in the long run:

1. Acknowledge everyone's feelings - Communicating that it is ok to experience natural feelings of confusion, hurt, anger, and sadness is a crucial part of helping children adjust to divorce, and it can actually work in tandem to help parents heal as well. Talk with your kids about the emotions they are feeling and let them know that you feel the same things, too. This will let them know they are not alone in their struggle and give them the support they desperately need.  

2. Avoid negative talk about the other parent - Speaking negatively about your ex-spouse to your child can not only add more tension between you and the rest of the family, but it can also cause more division between you, your child, your child’s relationship with their other parent. Experts from Psychology Today tell us that children may have a loyalty conflict if they end up feeling as if they need to choose one parent over the other.

3. Involve the children in the new home - Involving the kids in the preparation of their new home is a huge help when it comes to easing their anxiety about their new living arrangements. For example, having them pick out new bedroom furniture or allowing them to pick a room they want in the house are great ways to ease them into the transition. Ideally, it is beneficial to inform them of the changes before the split, but you still have the chance to lessen their stress by including them in the creation of their new living space shortly after the divorce.  

4. Plan fun outings together - To counteract the bumpy emotional flare-ups that are sure to happen, it is helpful to plan special outings as a family or quality one-on-one time with your child. This can instill a sense of unity in the midst of a recent break-up, and also give your child something to look forward to during a time when their world feels as if it has been turned upside down.  

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

Divorce can easily take its toll on parents and children alike, but creating a support system that benefits the entire family can help lessen everyone's stress. Acquire the resources and knowledge you need to execute your divorce by speaking with a qualified Naperville divorce attorney today. Call Calabrese Associates, P.C. at 630-393-3111 for your personal consultation.

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-raise-happy-cooperative-child/201302/8-strategies-helping-kids-adjust-divorce