Shielding Your Children from Divorce-Related Drama

 Posted on January 23, 2018 in Child Custody / Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

There are some details in your marriage and divorce that your children do not need to know. Children already have a hard time adjusting to their broken family after a divorce. Telling them about their other parent’s faults that led to the divorce will hurt them more. Your most important job as a parent after your divorce to protect your children. That means shielding them from the infighting that often accompanies a divorce.

Too Much Information

Dragging your children into your divorce-related drama is unfair to them. Despite what you may think of your former spouse, your children likely look up to him or her as a parent. Children see their parents as infallible role models, even though no parent is perfect. By exposing your children to your grievances from the divorce, you are:

• Eroding their respect for that parent or yourself;
• Pressuring them to pick sides;
• Making them feel uncomfortable; and
• Reinforcing the negative aspects of the divorce.

Unless your former spouse is a danger to your children, they should be allowed to continue their parent-child relationship without you trying to influence their opinions.

Avoiding Drama

When your divorce upsets you, your mood and behavior may affect your children in ways you do not realize. Preventing this will take a concerted effort by yourself and the other parent:

1. Shifting Focus: When it comes to your divorce, your children care only about the details that affect them. Limit any divorce discussions you have with your children to how you and their other parent are working on a parenting plan that will allow them to see both of you.
2. Keep Your Opinions to Yourself: You should resist the urge to make snide comments about your former spouse around your children. Be mindful of other reactions that betray your feelings, such as rolling your eyes.
3. Find an Outlet for Your Frustrations: Your child should never be your divorce confidant, even if he or she is an adult. You can vent your divorce complaints to a close friend or a therapist.
4. Agree to Agree: As co-parents, you and your former spouse will still have to interact on a regular basis. You do not need to like each other, but you should agree to cooperate with each other in regards to the children and avoid fighting when around them.

Stressful Divorce

Going through a divorce can take a mental and emotional toll that will permeate your life and affect your mood. A DuPage County divorce attorney at Calabrese Associates, PC, can help you through the difficult parts of your divorce. To schedule a consultation, call 630-393-3111.

Source:

http://www.divorcemag.com/blog/keep-kids-out-of-your-divorce-drama-focus-on-their-wellbeing