What if My Ex Does Not Want Visitation with the Children?

 Posted on August 13, 2024 in Child Custody / Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

In most cases, during the allocation of parental responsibility, both parents want to see their children as often as possible. But what if your ex simply walks away after the divorce, perhaps even moving out of state, and makes no effort to see the children? What if you see your children waiting anxiously for their visitation time only to have your ex cancel time after time?

As heartbreaking as this is, are there any legal avenues for forcing a parent to take advantage of visitation time? The answer is probably "no." Since visitation is considered a "right," people cannot be penalized for choosing not to exercise that right.

There may, however, be steps you can take which are best explained by a family law attorney from Calabrese Associates, P.C.. If you have an experienced Naperville, IL custody lawyer who can fully explain Illinois laws regarding the allocation of parental responsibility, you are better able to make informed decisions.

What Should I Do When My Ex Constantly Cancels Visitation?

Sharing custody is a challenge, even in the very best situations. The court operates under the assumption that regular, frequent time spent with both parents is in the best interests of the child. When your ex cancels at the last minute, it can be inconvenient for you, but the bigger issue is how it affects the children.

If the cancellations are infrequent, your best course of action is to stay as positive as possible about the cancellation. Give your children the emotional support they need to cope with what they may see as rejection. If your ex asks, agree to allow him or her to make up the time with the children. If cancellations become a habit, make sure to keep written records of every cancellation or failure to show up.

You may need to return to court to ask for a post-decree custody modification. The judge will look at the situation and potentially reduce the other parent’s visitation time to better reflect the time actually spent with the children. This modification may affect child support as well as other rights initially given to the parent with visitation.

What if My Ex Moved Away and Shows No Interest in Seeing the Children?

The reasons a parent may choose not to be involved with his or her children vary widely. Perhaps your ex never really wanted children. Maybe the divorce was so emotionally devastating he or she wants to walk away from the entire situation, including the children. If the parent with visitation is a narcissist, there may simply be a lack of interest in the children.

Analyzing your ex’s motives is an exercise in futility. Your only concern should be how it affects your children. Since you cannot force your ex to spend time with the children, you can only change your own attitude. Make peace with becoming a single parent, and seek help and emotional support from family and friends.

No matter how much it pains you, tell your children that their other parent loves them and wants to see them, but just cannot right now. Bad-mouthing the other parent may make you feel better in the moment, but in the long run is harmful to your children. Your children will feel a loss from the absent parent and this loss should be acknowledged and discussed.

Contact a DuPage County, IL Child Custody Parenting for Guidance

The allocation of parental responsibilities is an important issue for your children and for you.  This makes it imperative that you have an experienced Naperville, IL child custody lawyer by your side, advocating for you and your children. When you choose Calabrese Associates, P.C., you will have an attorney who is a former chair of the DuPage County Bar Association Family Law Committee and who is committed to the best outcome for families. Contact Calabrese Associates, P.C. at 630-393-3111 to schedule an appointment.