Posted on September 21, 2018 in Divorce

Are you legally allowed to date someone before you have officially divorced? The answer in Illinois is “yes.” Some states recognize marital misconduct such as adultery as a reason for divorce and will penalize the spouse at fault in the divorce settlement. Illinois is a no-fault divorce state, meaning that spouses do not cite a reason such as adultery when filing for divorce. However, dating during your divorce is still a poor decision because it can needlessly complicate the process and put you at a disadvantage.

Harming Negotiations

Your spouse will be upset if he or she learns that you have started dating while you are still settling your divorce. Your spouse is likely still emotional about the end of your marriage, and knowing that you are seeing someone else will cause him or her to feel hurt, angry, jealous, and/or depressed. He or she may use your divorce negotiations as a way to get back at you by:

• Being more argumentative;

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 Posted on September 13, 2018 in Child Custody / Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

Some men become more active and involved fathers despite the obstacles that their divorces create. Courts often grant less allocation of parental responsibilities to fathers, which means that fathers have less time with their children and less say in parenting decisions. As a father, you are always a full-time parent, even if you see your children only part-time. You need to change what you require of yourself as a full-time father.

Parenting Time

You should treat your time with your children as a precious resource. When you were living with your co-parent, you could be less active with your children because you were sharing parental responsibilities. Single parents cannot avoid interacting with their children and taking direct responsibility. This should include:

• Talking with your children individually;
• Helping them with their homework or life problems; and

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 Posted on September 05, 2018 in Divorce

Illinois offers a quicker and easier divorce process for some spouses, called a joint simplified dissolution of marriage. The process has less required paperwork and can often be resolved in one court hearing. However, there are several strict requirements that spouses must meet to qualify for a joint simplified divorce. The state created the process for spouses who have not been married long, have limited assets and will not remain connected to each other after the divorce. Check this list of requirements to determine if you qualify for joint simplified divorce:

1. Marriage Duration and Separation: Your marriage must be less than eight years old, and you must be living separate and apart from each other.
2. Agreement on Divorce: You and your spouse must both agree that irreconcilable differences are the reason for your divorce.
3. Children: You cannot have any children from your marriage or be expecting any children through pregnancy or adoption. The existence of children would require child support and the allocation of parental responsibilities, which a simple court hearing cannot determine.

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 Posted on August 28, 2018 in Divorce

You must act quickly and pragmatically once you and your spouse have decided to divorce each other. People who delay finding a divorce attorney and gathering information are put at a disadvantage when they must make important decisions. However, you may have a more difficult time overcoming your initial emotions if the divorce came as a surprise to you. You may initially react with anger towards your spouse or by fighting to save your marriage. Unfortunately, you cannot afford to avoid the practical concerns of your pending divorce.

Caught Off Guard

A spouse goes through an internal struggle before working up the nerve to say that he or she wants a divorce. The spouse concluded that:

• The marriage is beyond repair;
• Remaining in the marriage is untenable; and
• Divorce is his or her best option.

When you are surprised by a request for a divorce, you have not had the benefit of reconciling these issues. You dislike that your spouse has made this decision for you because you feel powerless and embarrassed that you did not foresee the divorce. Thus, you remain at the stage of deciding whether you agree to get a divorce, while your spouse is already preparing for the legal process.

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 Posted on August 20, 2018 in Division of Assets

Gray divorce, which refers to divorcees who are older than 50, has a different focus during negotiations than a younger divorce. The children in a gray divorce are likely no longer dependents or close to that age, which means that the allocation of parental responsibilities and child support may not even be an issue. However, the financial aspects of the divorce may be more complicated because of the duration of the marriage and divorcees’ stage in their lives. Financial viability after a gray divorce is more important than normal because the divorcees will have fewer opportunities to make up for lost assets.

Marital Properties

Gray divorcees have often collected numerous and valuable properties during their marriage, which they now must divide. The most valuable and vital properties for gray divorcees may be their retirement plans because it is the money they are counting on to support them for the rest of their lives. Most retirement plans are considered marital properties, including:

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 Posted on August 12, 2018 in Child Custody / Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

When it comes to a document as important as a parenting plan, you want to avoid vague language and unanswered questions. A weak parenting plan can create conflict between the co-parents, which may also harm the children. Your parenting plan can be as specific as you need to prevent your co-parent from interpreting it differently. However, the plan should also be flexible so that you can respond to unusual circumstances with practical solutions. A good parenting plan thoroughly addresses all of the known issues that are involved in co-parenting while allowing flexibility to adjust to unforeseen issues.

Detailed Document

Parenting time is rightfully the most discussed aspect of a parenting plan because it is the most fundamental part of co-parenting. However, there are numerous areas of co-parenting in which there is a potential for conflict if the plan does not specifically address them. Some of the most common questions that the plan should answer include:

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 Posted on August 03, 2018 in Divorce

Spouses who choose to end their marriage are divorcing each other emotionally, as well as legally. An emotional divorce is often compared to the five stages of grief. You must accept the fact that you divorced and let go of regrets about mistakes that you and your spouse made. Your negative emotions related to your divorce are what is most likely to delay your eventual acceptance. However, some negative emotions predate your divorce. They are feelings that you ignored or buried and have now been unearthed by your divorce. Dealing with these negative emotions may require understanding that your divorce is not their only cause:

1. Betrayal: There are actual betrayals and perceived betrayals in a marriage. Your spouse cheating on or lying to you is an actual betrayal of your trust. Your spouse making decisions that conflict with your own interests may be hurtful but not necessarily a betrayal. The difference is whether your spouse intended to betray you. Your sense of betrayal may be a reaction to actual betrayals earlier in your life. You still feel hurt by those experiences and concluded that your spouse was motivated by betrayal in his or her actions.

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 Posted on July 26, 2018 in Prenuptial Agreements

Going through a divorce is when you are most likely to realize how useful a prenuptial agreement can be. The agreement can save time on the negotiation of the division of properties and spousal maintenance. Unfortunately, it is too late to create a prenuptial agreement or even a postnuptial agreement if your divorce has already started. You should remember this lesson when you enter your next major relationship that involves sharing assets with your partner. Creating a prenuptial or co-tenancy agreement is a practical step towards protecting individual assets if you have previously divorced.

Second Marriage

There may be several reasons why you did not create a prenuptial agreement before your first marriage:

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 Posted on July 19, 2018 in Divorce

There is a general consensus that people who are married live happier and healthier lives than those who divorce or never marry. People who are opposed to divorce will use this concept as a reason why struggling spouses should stay married and try to mend their relationship. However, a recent study concluded that a high-conflict marriage can also be detrimental to the spouses’ health. Researchers followed 373 couples during the first 16 years of their marriages, keeping track of the level of conflict in their marriages and their general health. Husbands, in particular, had a further decline in health based on the frequency of the conflicts. There are several ways that the stress of a bad marriage can have a negative effect on your health:

1. Depression and Anxiety: Being unhappy in your marriage will wear you down and can affect your mental health. Interacting with your spouse may make you feel anxious and depressed, which may, in turn, lead to poor decisions. Anxious thoughts may disrupt your sleeping patterns because you are unable to calm down at night.

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 Posted on July 13, 2018 in Child Custody / Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

Determining the allocation of parental responsibilities can feel like a competition between parents to see who can receive more parental powers after a divorce. Parents will present their own strengths and the other parent’s weaknesses, with the prize being a greater share of parenting time. However, a focus on winning parental control may ignore what is in the best interest of a child. A parent with a majority of the parental responsibilities should help the other parent maintain a strong relationship with their children.

Parental Roles

Illinois family courts presume that it is in a child’s best interest to have two strong parental figures unless one of those parents is demonstratively harmful to the child. Children benefit from an active relationship with both parents because:

• Each parent is a role model to the type of person that his or her child becomes;

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