Posted on July 19, 2018 in Divorce

There is a general consensus that people who are married live happier and healthier lives than those who divorce or never marry. People who are opposed to divorce will use this concept as a reason why struggling spouses should stay married and try to mend their relationship. However, a recent study concluded that a high-conflict marriage can also be detrimental to the spouses’ health. Researchers followed 373 couples during the first 16 years of their marriages, keeping track of the level of conflict in their marriages and their general health. Husbands, in particular, had a further decline in health based on the frequency of the conflicts. There are several ways that the stress of a bad marriage can have a negative effect on your health:

1. Depression and Anxiety: Being unhappy in your marriage will wear you down and can affect your mental health. Interacting with your spouse may make you feel anxious and depressed, which may, in turn, lead to poor decisions. Anxious thoughts may disrupt your sleeping patterns because you are unable to calm down at night.

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 Posted on July 13, 2018 in Child Custody / Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

Determining the allocation of parental responsibilities can feel like a competition between parents to see who can receive more parental powers after a divorce. Parents will present their own strengths and the other parent’s weaknesses, with the prize being a greater share of parenting time. However, a focus on winning parental control may ignore what is in the best interest of a child. A parent with a majority of the parental responsibilities should help the other parent maintain a strong relationship with their children.

Parental Roles

Illinois family courts presume that it is in a child’s best interest to have two strong parental figures unless one of those parents is demonstratively harmful to the child. Children benefit from an active relationship with both parents because:

• Each parent is a role model to the type of person that his or her child becomes;

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 Posted on July 03, 2018 in Divorce

Some people going through a divorce resort to eavesdropping on their spouses in hopes of obtaining sensitive information that can be used in the case. With the proliferation of electronic communications, there are several ways to surreptitiously track someone’s correspondences and online history. Illinois law states that evidence obtained through eavesdropping is inadmissible in court in most cases. However, you do not want your former spouse to be able to monitor your electronic devices, even if you have nothing to hide. Electronic monitoring can be a way of embarrassing or asserting control over a former spouse. Cybersecurity has become an essential part of protecting your privacy during your divorce.

Uncoupling Yourself

It is common for spouses to have shared online accounts, including:

• Email;
• Cloud drives for personal files;

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 Posted on June 27, 2018 in Business and Divorce

A business in a divorce is at the same time a marital property and a complex entity. It is a major source of income for at least one spouse and has great value as an asset. While it is possible to divide business ownership, it is more common for one spouse to have complete ownership after the divorce. In return, the other spouse is compensated with properties of equal value. However, one spouse may use his or her knowledge of the business to prevent the other spouse from receiving equitable compensation in the division of property. You must be wary of how your spouse may try to deceive you about his or her business during your divorce.

Business Valuation

Your spouse likely has a better understanding than you of the value of his or her business if you are not involved in its operation. During your divorce negotiations, your spouse has an incentive to undervalue his or her business to prevent you from receiving full compensation. He or she may underreport the business’s profits or give a conservative estimate of the business’s future value. There are also ways that your spouse can artificially lower the value of the business, such as:

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 Posted on June 21, 2018 in Divorce

The decision to divorce may provide you some relief because a resolution to your unhealthy marriage is in sight. However, your relief may turn to stress once you realize how much work will be involved in the process. A divorce agreement involves making tough decisions about money, property, and parenting. If you feel overwhelmed, you must remind yourself that you cannot complete the process all at once, even if you wanted to. When starting a divorce, you can divide tasks between what needs to be done immediately and what you should keep in mind for later.

Immediate Concerns

Your most urgent tasks at the beginning of your divorce involve your day-to-day needs. Your divorce has disrupted your life, and you need to create some stability before you can focus on larger issues. Immediate concerns include:

• Where you will be living if you are the one moving out of the marital home;

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 Posted on June 05, 2018 in Divorce

A survey of divorcees found that a divorce takes on average about 11 months to complete, from the initial filing to the final court-approved divorce agreement. There are unusual cases in which the duration is much shorter or longer, but the complicated issues of a divorce can easily take most of the year to complete. You have incentives to want to complete your divorce in a timely manner. A drawn-out divorce will cost more in legal fees, and the process is emotionally taxing. There are several variables that will determine how long your divorce will take:

1. Location of Divorce: Court availability is a factor for all divorce cases, but some county courts are subject to more delays than others. How soon you can have a court hearing depends on the number of cases the court has and how efficient the court is with its cases.
2. Filing for Divorce: Your divorce may be delayed from the beginning if your spouse does not cooperate after being served the divorce papers. In some cases, a spouse may be difficult to track down. In others, a spouse may contest the dissolution of marriage. Courts rarely deny a dissolution of marriage request, but you will need to attend additional hearings to resolve the matter.

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 Posted on May 29, 2018 in Spousal Maintenance

Negotiating spousal maintenance agreements during divorce may become more contentious because of a change to a long-standing tax law. The federal tax reform bill passed in late 2017 eliminated the popular alimony deduction for federal income taxes. The deduction is an incentive for higher-income spouses to agree to pay spousal maintenance. With the uncertainty that the change has created, many divorcing couples are rushing to complete their agreements before the law goes into effect.

How It Works

The current tax law allows spousal maintenance payers to deduct the value of their annual payments from their total taxable income. The maintenance recipient must report the money as taxable income. The change to the law will make maintenance tax-neutral. The payer can no longer claim a deduction, and the recipient will no longer pay taxes on the payments. There are three caveats to the law that benefit those who want to continue using the alimony deduction:

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 Posted on May 22, 2018 in Divorce

Reconciling your divorce with your own emotions may mean overcoming the idea that you are a failure. Your vow upon marriage was to spend the rest of your lives together. Ending your marriage before then means you failed in that mission. Once you have convinced yourself of that idea, it is easy to extend that failure to your marriage as a whole and yourself. However, success in a marriage is defined by more than its duration, and people who chose to divorce are not themselves failures. Keep these points in mind:

1. Forever Is a Long Time: Staying married for life is a worthy goal, but how realistic is it? There are many conflicts and unforeseen circumstances that can occur during a marriage. To create a relationship that can withstand every test is remarkable. Making it 10 or 20 years is also a feat. Rather than disparage the marriages that do not last forever, we should be impressed by the ones that do.

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 Posted on May 15, 2018 in Parenting Time (Visitation)

Obtaining a fair share of parenting time is one part of being a good post-divorce parent. You also must use your parenting time to develop a positive relationship with your children. In your children’s eyes, you are not the same parent as you were before your divorce. Your children may also seem like different people if their moods and behavior have changed because of the divorce. They are likely still feeling pain and betrayal but are also looking to you for comfort and guidance. The onus is on you to create a new and healthy relationship with your children as a single parent.

Communication

Understanding your children’s feelings and needs starts with talking to them. Their time with you should include opportunities to discuss what is going on in their lives and how they are feeling. Ask them to share both the good and the bad so you are a more complete part of their lives. When they are with their other parent, encourage them to remain in contact with you, via:

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 Posted on May 03, 2018 in Divorce

An amicable divorce process has more to do with your state of mind than with the circumstances of your divorce. You can always find something to argue over if you are bitter towards your spouse. Conversely, you can settle contentious issues when you look at them from a logical standpoint instead of an emotional one. A high-conflict divorce may feel immediately satisfying because you are letting out your resentment towards your spouse. However, an amicable divorce has better outcomes and often results in less emotional damage.

Setting the Tone

Amicable divorce starts with how you handle your initial conversation with your spouse. If you are the one asking for a divorce, you have greater control over the tone of the discussion. You can start on the path towards amicable divorce by:

• Considering the time and place you are asking for a divorce;
• Not blaming anyone for the divorce;

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